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Joke of the Day

"NSFW Two flies are sitting on a piece of shit... One fly farts. The other fly says, ""Do you mind? I'm eating."""

"I decided to make a website so rednecks can find out and track who their ancestors were... I named it Incestry"

"Sales of Advent calendars down by 80% this year It looks like their days are numbered"

"Time travel I was gonna do a joke about time travel... but no one liked it."

"So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says ""Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"" ""Africa!"", says the parrot."

"Salesman: Roll up roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here's got room in their houses for a mammoth."

"A man sneezes on the subway who clearly has a cold. The man next to him says in a disgusted tone, ""people like you make me sick."""

"What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator? A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)"

"My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony. I was born ready."

"Earth asks Mars... ""Why has Venus been so distant lately?"" Mars answers ""shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"""