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Joke of the Day

"Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president... ...and 50 for Miss America?"

"[high] ME: dude, NASA faked the moon landing FRIEND: wait, u mean- ME: yep, the moon never landed at all, it's still out there somewhere"

"Mario is a game where you save a girl from the terrible fate of hanging with a dude who owns a castle"

"Hitler was born on April 20th... cuz he was destined to blaze the jews."

"Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them."

"Me: *throws banana and waits for it to return, boomerang style* that's the last time I ever believe anything I read on Yahoo Answers..."

"Jaws (2015): ""(cell phone) Hi Coast Guard, yeah a shark is banging my boat oh you're on your way great thanks"""

"Did you guys see that post about ISIS and Taliban announcing jihad against each other? It really blew up"

"I basically have 3 hairstyles... Straight. Wavy. Homeless."

"What did the boy scout do that the jewish boy couldn't Come home from camp"