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Joke of the Day

"I wish we were Irish Daughter: I wish we were Irish, so we could have more fun on St. Patrick's Day Me: Irish you were a Beer"

"""We're going to chop off your testicles so we can love you until we decide you need to die."" --pet owners"

"A dyslexic poet that has a fetish for rim licks."

"The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man."

"Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt died in a car accident? She got cut off by a dick."

"What's the difference? What's the difference between a midget acrobatic team and a girls track team? The midgets are a bunch of cunning runts."

"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one-iron Because even God can't hit a one-iron"

"I'm ready to be a dad. Of that, I'm sure. Wife: are you certain? Sure: yes."

"What planet is so big the entire universe can fit in? Ur Anus."

"What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games? The liver"