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Joke of the Day
"A dyslexic poet that has a fetish for rim licks."
Next Joke
"I went to Africa and spoke with the people there... It just clicked."
"I felt sorry for the hypnotist.... I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 guys... then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled ""FUCK ME!"" What happened next will haunt me the for the rest of my life..."
"Turns out I'm addicted to refigerated poultry. I've gotta quit cold turkey."
"I am so glad that I poop in a toilet, rather than a bag. Given that I did that for 14 months of my life, perspective is a nice thing."
"A woman is at her father's deathbed She hasn't seen him in years and now they only have a few moments left. ""Dad, I'm sorry,"" she whispers. ""Goodbye, Sorry,"" he says, ""I'm *dead*."""
"I got a puppy for my ex. Fair trade."
"To the person who just mass messaged me that heart felt ""Merry Christmas"" text, I thought you should know everyone says ""Thanks"". ..All 115 of them."
"Its ironic.... ... that you lot just don't get irony."
"""Almost there."" - liars"