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Joke of the Day

"HER: I'm ending this ME: why? HER: you're way too literal ME: I promise I can change HER: prove it ME: *puts on a different shirt*"

"What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids."

"ME: [on the phone] Plz come home from work WIFE: Why ME: Theres a spider in the bathroom WIFE: so kill it ME:[whispering] its got my gun"

"""Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks."" --William Shakespeare (i think)"

"Me: Off to adult school recess! Boss: it's called lunch.. Me: *runs by dribbling basketball with two hands"

"Freedom Knock Knock Joke ""Knock knock"" ""who's there"" ""freedom"" ""freedom who?"" ""Just kidding, freedom doesn't knock freedom rings"""

"why was the broom late for work? he overswept!"

"Why do we use black pens on white paper? So hangman is more realistic."

"I like my coffee how I like my women. With my dick in it! (Joke from Board James)"

"What do you call a high-priced barber shop? A clip joint."