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Joke of the Day

"As I've gotten older, my answer to any problem, more and more, is ""burn it down""."

"I started a business putting explosives in prayer mats Prophets are though the roof."

"What beer does Sean Connery drink? Grols"

"What kind of socks do you find in your backyard? Garden hose."

"Holy crap what a wank... I really took a beating back there."

"WHAT DO WE WANT?! Follow-up questions! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? OH HELL YEAH THAT'S THE STUFF"

"As a younger man, I used to think women were only good for one thing... As I've gotten older I've realized......I'm better at doing that myself too."

"My I.Q. goes from 125 to about 14 when there's a hot girl around."

"I normally don't drink, but last time I did I woke up next to my grandmother I still don't know how I got 6 feet under ground."

"I sprayed Taylor Swift's new perfume on me then started writing a five page letter to the boy who forgot to put a straw in my bag at Arby's."