99868

Joke of the Day

"I sprayed Taylor Swift's new perfume on me then started writing a five page letter to the boy who forgot to put a straw in my bag at Arby's."

"I think my abs look pretty good for a mother of 2 kids. I don't have kids."

"My brother is so poor... ...He had to jerk off the dog to feed the cat."

"What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common? They both have problems finding x."

"What do you do when you see a spaceman? Park in it, man!"

"I have a thing for women with dark hair and dark eyes, and that thing is called a penis."

"I organized a threesome this past weekend. There were a couple of no-shows, but I still had a good time."

"What do you call a musician with a college degree? Night manager at McDonalds."

"Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer."

"I tried to play water polo once But my horse drowned. :("