31290

Joke of the Day

"Stephen Hawking's worn out two pair of shoes since the last time my co-worker said something intelligent."

"I like to push the envelope because it's probably a bill, and eventually it'll fall off the table."

"My brother thought his vasectomy ... would keep his wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changed the color of the baby."

"What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait ? His portrait only need one nail"

"I save so much money by not having any money."

"What would I do if Future tried talking to me? I'd autotune him out. :)"

"What type of car explodes? A Talivan."

"Mike Pence said that his Vice Presidential role model is Vice President Cheney. Huh. Who would've thought that after making so much LGBT discriminatory legislation that Pence loved Dick?"

"When it comes to distinguishing male genitalia from female genitalia... There's a Vas Deferens."

"What is the only alcoholic beverage Muslim extremists are permitted to drink? Smirnoff ISIS"