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Joke of the Day

"How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning."

"Don't step outside tonight at 11:59pm You might not make it back till next year"

"Why are there no female serial killers ?? Because after the first kill, they have to tell someone."

"Black guy just told me ""Stay up playa"" but didnt say until what time and I usually go to bed around 11 so not sure what to do now."

"I think my wife's sewing machine is on the blink. I'm not sure what's wrong, it just doesn't seam right."

"*stuck in elevator with beautiful woman* I know it's only been 10 minutes but I'm gonna take a poop ok?"

"Why did the Dictator ban Soda? Because there couldn't be 2-liters."

"Where do farm animals get their groceries? The pharmacy."

"What do you call an illegal immigrant and a pedophile fighting? Alien Vs Predator"

"Son: ""Mom, Dad.. I'm gay"" Mom: *staring at dad Dad: *clenches fists Mom: ""don't..."" Dad: *sweats profusely Mom: ........ Dad: ""HI GAY. I'M DAD"""