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Joke of the Day

"hi yes i'd like a vodka salad please ""you mean a bloody mary"" yeah yeah whatever just hurry it up"

"A man and a boy are walking through a dark forest... The boy turns to the man and says ""Its dark, I'm scared."" The man replies with ""You're scared? I have to walk back through here on my own!"""

"I went to the zoo yesterday, but the only animal they had was a small dog. It was a shih-tzu."

"I am in prison for something I didn't do I didn't pay my taxes"

"Where does big-foot keep his genitals? In his sascrotch!"

"I have an ungodly amount of Taco Bell hot sauce packets for being a grown woman who's nutritionally responsible for two children."

"""Sweating bullets"" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot."

"Ex girlfriends are like a box of chocolates. They'll kill your dog."

"There was a lot of this before MJ died. [img]http://i.imgur.com/oZxmOzJ.png[/img]"

"When you are getting Old.... You know you're getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."