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Joke of the Day
"This is Bob.. Bob has no hands. -*Knock, knock* -Whos there? -Not Bob!"
Next Joke
"What else was the man with two penises thankful for? Being ambidextrous."
"[Target intercom] ""Would the parent of a 9 y/o named Jack please pick up your son at security. We've told u for weeks this isn't a daycare."""
"YOU SHOULD BE CALLED JEHOVAH'S FITNESS! I yell as I lose my breath chasing them down the street."
"Chris Hansen loses his job and has to get a new job as a cashier at Walmart ""Why don't you take a receipt?"""
"Why couldn't Batman go fishing? Because Robin ate the worms."
"Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds."
"6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?"
"Donald Trump is like a marshmallow... He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat."
"The oldest written recipe is for beer. Even when most people couldn't read or write, they knew they had to mark that shit down somehow."