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Joke of the Day

"Chris Hansen loses his job and has to get a new job as a cashier at Walmart ""Why don't you take a receipt?"""

"Why do lesbians like Sports Authority so much? Because they hate Dick's!"

"Mom She gave me life She gave me love She gave me sarcasm She gave me the ability to cut brake lines so that it looks like an accident."

"After the initial energy surrounding lithium's arrest... Charges were dropped, due to lack of connection."

"My wife has a logic fetish... She's always coming to conclusions."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world... Those who know binary and those who don't."

"You Will Send Me Nudes This is on Reddit."

"I hate it when people stare at me and don't say anything I mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask."

"I don't ever have to worry about getting sex... Because I'm married, so I already know I won't. Takes all the guesswork right out of it."

"It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M- A-N. 1948. HUGE upset. Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true."