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Joke of the Day

"One drink, I feel glamorous Two, I get amorous Three, a bit stammerous Anymore than four, I'm on the floor, all drooly and hammerous"

"Did you hear the one about Dorian Gray's stool sample? That shit NEVER gets old."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags."

"I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables."

"""Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in someone else's pants."""

"It's amazing how many people are allergic to gluten, peanuts, and facts."

"What's the definition of ""trust""? Two cannibals giving each other a blow job."

"Victims of successfull murder attempts: whats your story? Serious replies only."

"""I'm smart. Everyone else is stupid"" - everyone"

"What was the black lab's favorite planet? Earf! Earf!"