31253

Joke of the Day

"""Kids are picking on me, Mom"" I'll teach you how to fight, son. ""Yes!"" [Mom spreads rumors about son and ignores him for 3 days]"

"Why do buzzards prefer to fly? Because they really like their carry-on..... yeah total dad joke, i know."

"So a man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap The psychiatrist looks up at him and says "" I can clearly see your nuts"""

"Where does general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Why is K-9 another term for a dog? Because if it was a cat, it would be a K-10."

"Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine."

"Can someone give me an arrow? I knee'd it."

"If you're going to a wedding this weekend and you see a random stranger dancing his nut off on the dance floor, I'm sorry, I lost a bet."

"What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles."

"What do you call Dubstep on a Mac? iDropIt"