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Joke of the Day

"I can't wait for my grandma to ask me repeatedly why I don't have a boyfriend ""because I'm such a pretty girl"". I'm a psycho, grandma."

"[God making a planet for the first time and just constantly screwing things up] Ugh, first world problems."

"My friend asked me if her breath smelled like tacos. I said, ""I don't know, do you put shit in your tacos?"""

"Always marginalised and discriminated against in favour of their blue counterparts, it's about time we started treating them with the respect they deserve. Black Levi's Matter."

"My friend's WoW character couldn't go forward anymore. You'll never guess what he said !? "" wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"""

"What is Hilary Clintons favorite part about going to the beach? Her Flip-Flops."

"What did the soldering iron say to the capacitor? Go flux yourself!"

"Didja hear that Hershey's is bringing out a new LGBT candy-bar? They're callin it a Lady Bruce."

"Twitter addiction A man goes to his doctor and says: -Doctor, I think i am addicted to Twitter. -Eh,sorry...I don't follow you."

"Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of its bark."