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Joke of the Day

"Confucius say... man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion."

"People who say their migraine is going to be the death of them are totally right because I just killed a lady right after she said that."

"Did you hear about the Georgia accountant who absconded with all the accounts payable?"

"I'm invincible. I can not be Vinced"

"Did you get that????? Unscramble these words! 1.) PNEIS 2.) HTIELR 3.) NGGERI 4.) BUTTSXE Did you get SPINE, LITHER, GINGER and SUBTEXT?"

"Someone threw an egg at me, I wasn't able to dodge it. It was un-ovoid-able. =("

"Hey Texas, in Florida it's legal to abort other people's kids up to 17 years."

"Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife"

"KATY PERRY: Can I use a real tiger? NFL: No way, that would be dumb. KATY PERRY: Oh I'll show you dumb."

"My psychiatrist says I have delusions of sexual superiority She just wants to fuck me."