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Joke of the Day

"[Commercial for lawnmowers] [Exhausted looking guy stood in his garden] *Stabs a long sword into the grass* ""There has to be a better way"""

"""MEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH THE GREEKS & MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"" ""Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"" ""Oh rad bring it in"""

"Why doesn't America like knock knock jokes? Because freedom rings."

"What do you call 3 agnostics sitting at a bar? I don't know."

"Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !"

"Exits public bathroom stall Makes eye contact with the person next in line Mouths: ""I'm so sorry"""

"what should i do for my 30th birthday??? I'm only 23 but it pays to b prepared"

"My friend saw the son of god at a brothel yesterday... Or as he called it, the third coming of Jesus."

"Wanted to do something patriotic today so I bought a gun and fifty Big Macs."

"What do you call an ugly Spanish chemist? Iron Oxide"