31007

Joke of the Day

"[wife yelling in waterpark] ""BRENT SOMEONE IS STEALING THE CAR"" [top of huge slide] K IM STILL GONNA TAKE THE SLIDE DOWN CUZ IT'll BE FASTER"

"Gonna try and impress this hot girl biking next to me at the gym by answering the Who Wants to be a Millionaire questions out loud."

"Reportedly, Bill Gates filed for trademarks on iCrosoft, iNdows & iHateSteveJobs today. Then, he wiped his ass with a bazillion dollar bill."

"QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught."

"If storks bring white babies and crows bring black babies, then what brings no babies? Swallows"

"Whenever someone says they have ""a thing"" for me, I secretly hope it's a pony."

"Dot [limerick] There once was a woman named Dot, who lived off of pig-shit and snot. When she ran out of these, she ate the green cheese, that grew on the sides of her twat."

"If you throw acid on a basic bitch does she become salt?"

"What do computers and air conditioners have in common? Neither work when you open windows."

"What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows."