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Joke of the Day

"What happened when the shoe factory burned down? 500 soles were lost."

"What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine? A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress"

"Butterflies have 1,200 eyes. That means they spend 7 months taking out their contacts every night."

"At the bus stop ""Wow, the boy over there is ugly."" - ""That's my Son!"" - ""Oh sorry, I did not know that you are the father"" - **""I am his mother!""**"

"What do you call a bass player without a GF? Homeless."

"It's amazing how many people are allergic to gluten, peanuts, and facts."

"Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? He got caught drinking on the job."

"Jokes on you I may be the joker, but you the joke"

"Do you know why I don't eat at Chili's or Applebee's? Because i'm old enough to microwave my own food..."

"I can't wait to jump on my kids' beds at 5am on Mother's Day, and holler ""WHAT DID YOU GET ME?!?"""