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Joke of the Day

"I can't wait to jump on my kids' beds at 5am on Mother's Day, and holler ""WHAT DID YOU GET ME?!?"""

Next Joke
 
"Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW"
"How do you confuse a gay person? 7"
"I just found out that my pillow has a better sex life than me It gets head every night"
"How did Obama celebrate his reelection? He hosted a Democratic Party."
"[my 1st day at press conference sign language translator job I lied on my resume to get] ME: *does Madonna's Vogue choreography for 45 min*"
"The best place to hide a dead body is page 2 of Google search results or page 1 of Bing."
"What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic!"
"What's the derivative of Amazon? Amazon Prime"
"My DNA is all over this room. So nobody go doing anything all life-sentency in here, ok?"
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