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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that Russia considers US intervention in Syria illegal? They even wrote a song about it... ""Crimea River"""

"Christmas is my favorite four months of the year."

"Whats best joke aboot canada? I'm canadian and i was just wondering"

"What did the dog say after stepping off a sailboat? Wharf!"

"I've always wanted to be in a circle jerk, but nobody else was interested... So I started cloning myself, and now I've come full circle!"

"Rape isn't funny.. Especially if you're being raped by Dane Cook. Than its totally not funny."

"This one time in high school I was called to the front of the class while I had hardest boner I ever had. It was the only time I thanked God for giving me a micro penis."

"How to make a charity 1. find someone in need 2. Create an organization and donate all revenue to said someone 3. ??? 4. nonprofit"

"""Son, I just wanted to let you know your adopted"" ""Are you kidding? Really?"" I shouted. ""Yup, get ready,"" he said. ""They'll be picking you up in about an hour."""

"Sometimes I like to leave seafood restaurants clutching my stomach and whisper ""Don't order the fish,"" to people waiting for tables."