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Joke of the Day

"I've always wanted to be in a circle jerk, but nobody else was interested... So I started cloning myself, and now I've come full circle!"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Did you know that it's traditional to serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap? There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

"Find a way to dress up as ""accidentally liking someone's Facebook picture from 2 years ago"" and really scare people this Halloween."

"Whats the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A prostitute stops screwing you after you're dead."

"Sexually active I was sexually active at 12....its now 12.14am and my hand is fuckin killing me."

"18: I'm going to ask the stylist what color screams parental issues. Me: ..."

"Journalists love covering Lindsay Lohan because what she is to actresses, they are to professions."

"Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree"

"How many Freudian slips does it take to change a light bulb? Two! One to hold the bulb, the other to hold the cock, uh, penis, I mean, uh, ladder."