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Joke of the Day

"*Lady gives balloon to my son* ME: What do u say? SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you"

"Did you hear Dora the Explorer is having trouble with her Tinder account? Swiper no swiping"

"How do you trigger a feminist? You've got male."

"Searched for a PI service in my area... Got a delicious apple in the correct geometric shape, but didn't really help me figure out who my wife was cheating on me with..."

"A peeping tom fell out if a tree, where did he end up? In the ICU"

"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?"

"There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't."

"What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded."

"I'm not a racist! Racism is a crime. *...and...* Only Black people commit crimes."