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Joke of the Day

"I wanna be the reason you get out of bed in the morning, even if it is to make sure the door is locked."

"Why are white girls so odd? Because they don't *even*."

"Why would I want to quit smoking? Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer?"

"The cannabis industry... It's a growing market."

"Met someone on Craigslist, guess I'm dating a grill now."

"How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake? Give it to Michael J Fox"

"Computer Science major walks into an English class The Professor says ""Welcome to English 101"". The student panicks. ""What's wrong?"" asks the Professor. ""I missed the first 4 English classes""."

"Just printed out 50 copies of today's weather forecast to carry around with me today because I'm just not in the mood for small talk."

"I hate the French They give me the Crepes"

"A young boy who has diarrhea asks his mom for some viagra... She asks him why on earth he would want that, and the boy replies, ""isn't that the stuff you give Dad when his shit isn't hard?"""