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Joke of the Day

"Met someone on Craigslist, guess I'm dating a grill now."

"Conversation between two psychologists ""I've developed a way to study patience"" ""What kind of patients?"" ""All of them"""

"What are the chances you know an Olympic gymnast?? A stretch"

"Hmm. Every fortune cookie I've opened in the past six months says ""you will die screaming."" Weird."

"How many teens does it take to change a light bulb 1, they stand there and wait for the world to revolve around them"

"A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make for love."

"When I die I want my skeleton turned into a xylophone. Just like the good ol' days."

"How do you organize a space party? You planet, i'll leave now"

"What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut you fucking racist."

"My friend recently told me he was allergic to blood... I told him he was full of it."