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Joke of the Day

"Fondly remembering a time when I could wear an over-sized guy's cardigan and still look pretty sexy, now I just look like a crazy bag lady."

"My boss just informed me its unprofessional to tell customers congratulations when they call in to change last name due to divorce."

"Why did the rope go to jail? Because he was knotty"

"I'm going to protect my tweets on Christmas this year so Santa can't ""know when I'm not sleeping or know when I'm awake."" Take that!"

"As soon as I can go a full year without losing a pair of sunglasses, then maybe I'll be ready to take care of a kid."

"My dad's reasoning for wearing sandals to Church Jesus wore sandals too."

"I visited Detroit recently. I love the smell of the ol' factories."

"Two gallons of milk sat within a fridge One was spoiled and the other was chocolate. Where did the spoiled milk sit? On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit? In the back."

"We should hold a reddit-wide vote on whether or not to bring back the upvote/downvote counter. But how will we count the votes?"

"I really do not understand lent... ...I'd better give up trying!"