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Joke of the Day

"English man reaches for his wallet to pay hooker.... She replies ""oh, so you want me to pound you?"""

"BLONDE LUCK A blonde was at a gumball machine. She kept putting quarters in and getting gumballs out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, ""Shut up! I'm winning."""

"What cheese do you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone!"

"I used to do the ""hokey pokey""... But I turned myself around."

"Why do black people like basketball? Because it invovles running, shooting, and stealing."

"Sorry I borrowed your pen and performed that emergency tracheotomy that turned out not to be an emergency. And sorry about your neck hole."

"If Twitter was invented by a woman, The character limit would be 10,000 characters."

"What kind of pants do Bostonians wear? Car Keys"

"Migrants are no longer welcome in the Greek island of Lesbos... as some people munched up the red carpet."

"thank god 50 shades of grey got the R rating they wanted because what kid under 18 wouldn't want to watch 50 shades of grey with a parent"