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Joke of the Day

"I've decided to get a couple tattoos. On my right knee I'm going to get ""Disney."" And on my left... dat-knee."

"Dad cooks deer for dinner and doesn't tell the kids what it is... He gives them a hint ""It's what your mom calls me"" The kids respond ""It's a fucking dick, don't eat it"""

"I bet earth makes fun of the other planets for having no life"

"A banana went to see the doctor and was like ""doc I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm just not peeling well"""

"My wife said that I need to pay more attention to what's going on around me. So, in 2010, I'm going to try harder."

"A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, ""I'll take five beers, please."""

"*talking into the phone, loudly enough that I know those ladies can hear me* WHATS THAT? MY SPACESHIP IS READY? GREAT, THANKS BARACK. OBAMA."

"A red dot walks into a bar. Period."

"I made a Belgium waffle this morning, This afternoon I'm going to make a Frenchman talk nonsense."

"How long is one minute? It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on."