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Joke of the Day

"There's no woman in the world more beautiful than the one lying next to you...............at that time "

"What is the best thing about Dwane ""the rock"" Johnson's physique? Nobody takes him for granite."

"My ex called me a peadophile... Pretty big word for a 6 year old. Edit for all the nazis: paedophile... Common typo and not the worst in the world imo"

"To anyone commenting you don't have any chest hair Tell them it does not grow on steel"

"If 'womb' is pronounced as 'woom' and 'tomb, as' 'toom' Shouldn't 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?"

"I remember staying up all night waiting for Santa to come When he was done he'd pull up his pants and say ""See ya next year kid"""

"""Snitches get stitches,"" I whisper to my 3 year old as he watches me brush Oreo crumbs from the bed sheets."

"Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?"

"The real joke isn't always in the comments Sometimes it's in the Whitehouse..."

"We're out of duct tape, craft glue, and frozen orange juice because I made a sandwich while I was drunk last night."