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Joke of the Day

"We're out of duct tape, craft glue, and frozen orange juice because I made a sandwich while I was drunk last night."

"When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors"

"Satoru Iwata is in a much better place... ... he's with Nintendo."

"What does Clint Eastwood say to God every morning? ""Go Ahead Make My Day"""

"Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? They were both designed for the kids but it's the fathers who are always playing with them."

"""Give it to me,"" my girlfriend yelled. ""I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella"

"Just saw a Fiat & a Mini Cooper get into a head on collision. It was horrible... there was glitter everywhere."

"Why did the Turkey join the band? because he had two Drumsticks."

"Welcome to our swimming ool ! Notice there is no P in it."

"My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. It's quite rewarding working from home I tell ya"