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Joke of the Day

"I remember staying up all night waiting for Santa to come When he was done he'd pull up his pants and say ""See ya next year kid"""

Next Joke
 
"Nicholas Cage... ...is where they keep all of the really bad Nicholases."
"How does Donald Trump screw in a light bulb? He can't. His hands are too small."
"I have got my own private jet, my wife owns rest of the hottub though."
"My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it."
"The roundest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi."
"[Interview] ""Do you have any previous experience dealing with animals?"" [flashback to my flatmate leaving toast crumbs in the butter] ..Yes."
"I want to start a business selling bait for fishing I plan to call it, ""Master Baiters & Tackle"""
"A book fell on my head I can only blame my shelf."
"Four Worst Feelings Ever: 4. Losing your job 3. Romantic break up 2. Death of a loved one 1. Needing to pee when you're stuck in traffic"