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Joke of the Day

"Me: Hello, is it me you're looking for? Her: no Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you're looking for?"

"I didn't think a McDonald's Happy Meal would fill me up, but it did... OMG, I ATE THE TOY!"

"If you think January has been a big month for marches, you're gonna lose your mind when you hear what the 3rd month of the year is called."

"My Archimedes Heel is Greek references"

"I saw a billboard that said, ""Be her Romeo"" and featured a pic of a diamond ring. Apparently they have not read Shakespeare."

"""I have 29 seconds left to live... Please let me just hear our song before I die"" Anything you want! *googles song* *30 second ad plays* NOO"

"If she licks all the frosting off her face with a single 360 degree sweep of the tongue, she might be Scooby Doo."

"When I lay down to go to sleep, I watch Hillary Clinton rallies It is much more convenient than counting sheep individually."

"I found a chocolate bar down the side of the sofa but I didn't celebrate because it was my old club."

"True love doesn't care about the look or size of your wallet, it's all about what is inside ..... the wallet."