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Joke of the Day

"Say ""beer can"" in a British accent. You just said ""bacon"" in a Jamaican accent."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? With a porcupine, the prick is on the outside."

"The only thing standing between you and your dreams is insomnia."

"I phoned up the fishing helpline today. I said, ""I'm crap at fishing and need some tips"". The man said, ""Okay, can you hold the line?"" I said, ""No""."

"If it's 1 or 1000 sins you're still getting sent to Hell. So why not go for 1,000,000 sins and come down here a legend"

"Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back? The mall is hiring new Santas."

"I read a joke about the British pound... But it didn't make any cents to me"

"Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him! baD-dumB-tssssJOKE"

"what did one snowman say to the other snowman? can you smell carrots?"

"Based on all the white smoke billowing out, I think my lawn mower just picked a new pope."