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Joke of the Day

"Say ""beer can"" in a British accent. You just said ""bacon"" in a Jamaican accent."

"What's white and ten inches long? Nothing."

"3 guys walked into a bar but one ducked"

"Why did the hipster dislike physics? Cause the system is broke, yo."

"Needed directions in Hollywood last weekend So last weekend in Hollywood i managed to get lost so i approached a fancy looking black couple and asked for directions . . . They gave me their baby."

"What is a Catholic's favorite weapon? Nun-chucks."

"Why can't Ross & Phoebe ever drown? Because David Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow."

"Greece announced they are going to default on their nearly 1.8 billion dollar loan Who would've thought the country that invented the philosophy major would be broke?"

"The only thing I know about Downton Abbey is that everyone looks as if they smell like the bottom of my Nana's purse."

"I prefer to do my stand up comedy in airports As long as TSA and Homeland Security do their job, there's no way I'd bomb"