3040

Joke of the Day

"I feel like my rear end turns into Billy Mayes whenever I get diarrhea... ""Butt wait, there's more!"""

"I hate when I'm in a restaurant bathroom, and I run out of toilet paper. Like my dinner guests are gonna be scared of HALF a mummy costume"

"What do you call a quadriplegic Canadian? A Can't-adian!"

"Wakes up grumpy, but most days he just lets her sleep...."

"What do they call mosquitoes in Pakistan? Churchitoes"

"What do you call a Spanish woman with a loose vagina? Consuelo!"

"I'm usually pretty inspired after watching a movie to try something I've just seen. [hunts for a movie about cleaning bathrooms]"

"Got fat from going to auctions every day. yep, it's more bid obesity!!!"

"Pharmacist: need any help? Me: Yes, I'd like whatever Oprah was on when she gave each and every audience member a car"

"What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has a future..."