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Joke of the Day
"Got fat from going to auctions every day. yep, it's more bid obesity!!!"
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"""Just the tip,"" I whisper seductively to the pizza delivery guy, hoping he fulfills my fantasy of not charging me for the pizza."
"One of my favorite comedians Bill 1/sec(B)"
"An old lady's beloved pair of pet rabbits died So she took them to the taxidermist to get them stuffed. The taxidermist asked her ""would you like them mounted?"" ""No"" she replied, ""just holding hands."""
"Last time I wore my celery costume out in public I was arrested for stalking."
"What do you call a smart blonde? A Labrador retriever"
"Did you hear about the new drug that makes its users apathetic? It's called Crystal Meh"
"Waitress: 'Do u have any questions about the menu?' Me: 'What kind of font is this?'"
"What's 6.9? A perfectly good 69 ruined by a period"
"Why is it difficult to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message."