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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, Emma Watson is to star in the movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. If this turns out to be true, by the end of that movie my peni$ will be fifty shades of purple."

"What is the Dothraki font of choice? Kaleebri"

"The FineBros remind me of a movie villian... ...they revealed their master plan via monologue and were stopped before they could end the world."

"I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That's how I learned the security guards have Tasers"

"Can anyone help me load Angry Birds on my PalmPilot? If so hit me up on my pager..."

"Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about idiot teenagers who don't know the difference between sleeping and dead"

"I wanted to be a pilot in the air force But they said I didn't have the right altitude."

"Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift."

"Why did the cowboy buy a Dachshund? Because he wanted to get-a-long-little-doggy"

"When I woke up this morning, the garbage disposal was making a funny noise. Turns out he was just masturbating in the next room."