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Joke of the Day

"We've got people working on world peace, and I'm here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient's chocolate without her noticing."

"*taps on your head* ""Is this think on?"""

"When you're trying to be cheesy But everyone around you is lactose intolerant"

"Do you know how long it's been since I've had an erection? About 8 inches."

"What idiot called it.... What idiot called it ""insomnia"" and not ""resisting a rest"""

"Everyone on here complains about ""the hivemind"" and ""circlejerk"" ruining the site I don't get it, it's not like it's Comcast or anything?"

"Before the wedding I have loved all the women on earth, after the wedding one woman less."

"Before the invention of the hose, firefighters had to put fires out with their fists."

"I need some white people jokes! I would especially love to hear these from someone of a different race. It's my birthday and this would make it complete."

"What comes out at night and goes Munch munch ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth."