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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the electrician who beat up a baker? He was charged with battery."

"[Last Supper] Jesus: *holds up bread* This is my body *holds up wine* This is my blood And this is Sparta! *kicks Judas into a pit*"

"I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said ""4G."" My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk."

"Which US national park is most welcoming to Hebrews? Yosemite!"

"You know your getting old when you drop something on the floor and instead picking it right back up, you just stare at it for a min or two..."

"""""When people cut you down. Or talk behind your back. Remember they took time out of their pathetic lives, To think about you."""""

"Three positives Thursday afternoon in the office: Me: yay it's 1.45pm, Coworker: and it's Thursday, Me: three positives, Coworker: what's the third, Me: It's still cumming!"

"I start undressing you with my eyes. About halfway through, your zipper gets caught on my cornea and I start screaming in agony."

"What do you call a gay date mixer? A meat-and-greet."

"What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common? They can both bring out the child from within."