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Joke of the Day

"Three positives Thursday afternoon in the office: Me: yay it's 1.45pm, Coworker: and it's Thursday, Me: three positives, Coworker: what's the third, Me: It's still cumming!"

"*leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. ""Hi"" ""Hey"" Hi.""Push It"" is about takin a dump, right? ""No"" ""Nope"" *hands friend $5*"

"Love will tear us apart. Also, bears, wolves and some other woodland creatures."

"Pick-up line guaranteed to work every time! Does this smell like chloroform to you??"

"All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on."

"[Dirty] What do you call a tear in the American flag? An old glory hole."

"Where did the memes make their last stand? The Aylmao"

"What do you call it when a stripper works for free? Pro Boner."

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."

"What do all rioters have in common? Youth"