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Joke of the Day
"Oh no, a subtweet. You got me."
Next Joke
"Jesus: one of you will betray me tonight *checks phone* Jesus: WHO IN DAD'S NAME UNFOLLOWED ME?!"" *judas slyly slips phone back in robe*"
"I was reading in the paper... And I read about some midget that got pick pocketed. I thought to myself, ""Who could stoop so low?"""
"What is a ghost's favorite airplane? BOO!eing"
"It's possible to suck at everything if you put your mouth to it."
"I made this girl fall in love with me textually. She said she wanted to # me @ her place."
"If I ever go missing and theres a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms."
"Where did Hitler put all the Jewish cats? Meowschwitz"
"What they told you about Mormonism is a lie Because they can't tell the truth"
"nurse: are you allergic to any medicine? me: laughter nurse: hahaha. OH MY GOD- me [face swelling up]: i thold thou."