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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man take a shower? He was a thief"

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"Einstein invented a theory about space... and it was about time too!"
"if you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out"
"A game I bought my Pokemon-Go playing friend caused her to have a brief panic attack. In hindsight, the latest Counter-Strike probably wasn't a good idea..."
"My waterproof phone is advertised in commercials with people surfing and kayaking and here I am tweeting in the shower."
"If there's one thing I know about Mexican stand offs... In the end, there can only be Juan."
"I was walking through town yesterday, when I came across a large black man with a mohawk and jewellery. He said, ""I piy the fool."" I said, ""Hey, you missed a T."""
"The first rule of Chinese Whispers Club is... ...don't talk about Tiny Whiskers Grub"
"Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK."
"For the English Q: What do you say to someone who appears to have done irreparable harm to themselves despite multiple warnings to the contrary? A: U.K. ?"