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Joke of the Day

"Why is Iraq like the weather in Britain? Because it's either Sunni or Shiite"

"Why do flower beds have mulch? So you can't see their underplants."

"If you're a douchebag, it's so easy to find the right hat."

"I was struggling to figure out how lightning works Then it struck me"

"Interviewer: ""So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Me: ""My biggest weakness? Probably not listening properly."""

"What instrument do piggys play in a band? Pigcussion!"

"Where do religious cattle go to eat? Out to pastor."

"Our baby now can clap which I believe qualifies him to be a member of an infomercial audience."

"Sure, Aphrodite poses naked in a giant clam shell, she's a goddess. But when I do it, I'm ''drunk' and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium'."

"If ISIS were a Pokemon, which would they be? Voltorb; they're always using self destruct"