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Joke of the Day

"why was the mother buying christmas gifts for her son in august? because presents are less expensive than chemo.."

"What is it called when a hacker poops? Logging out"

"How do you make a buff guy talk to you for hours? ask about his routine."

"9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won't tell you what they're wearing."

"Why is the Pharaoh a rare tuba player? Because he Toots Uncommon."

"I thought I was getting a car for christmas... turns out all I got was a toy Yoda"

"Where do you go in the room when you're cold? The corner, it's 90 degrees."

"A redhead tells her blonde step-sister that she slept with a Brazilian... ...and she replies with ""Omg! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""

"My grandpa dropped this one on me over the phone. I'll see you in church, make sure you sit by the window."

"A general tweet to those who attack me but I miss because they're blocked: I'm totally gutted. Well done. You're fierce! You got me GOOD."