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Joke of the Day

"I lost 5 followers after tweeting my non-concern for owls. I must stop being so politically controversial."

"What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat? I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed."

"GUY 1: I beat cancer GUY 2: I backpacked thru Europe GUY 1: So what? GUY 2: And I didn't tell anyone about it when I got back GUY 1: You win"

"Did you know that Stalin suffered from bulimia? He didn't binge, though, he just purged."

"(alternate) My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house To kill the hallucinations I said She laughed. I laughed The toaster laughed I shot the dog"

"I made a belt from all of my old watches last night It was such a waist of time"

"Punny Chemistry ""What's Jerry Sandusky's favorite compound?"" ""What?"" ""A mole ester"""

"who needs people when you got pizza"

"Why did Adele cross the road? She wanted to say hello from the other side. ^^^^^^hilarious ^^^^^^and ^^^^^^original ^^^^^^hahahahahahahahahelpme"

"There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas."