62581

Joke of the Day

"(alternate) My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house To kill the hallucinations I said She laughed. I laughed The toaster laughed I shot the dog"

"A Chinese man goes to the doctor because of failing eyesight. DR. ""Mr. wong it looks like you have a cataract."" Mr. Wong "" No no I drive Rincon."""

"*cape flaps in the wind* Me: Are you ready to defend freedom for another day, Captain K? Mom: Quit blocking the fan and put the cat down."

"What's a skydiver's favorite spice? Ground cumin! As long as they aren't running out of thyme."

"Why was the ghost uneducated? He was too ghoul for school"

"No, Groupon. Not even an 89% discount will lure me to ""An evening of yoga and rock climbing."""

"I got excited when I came across this ""topless Bar"", in kolkata while driving home last night. I walked in and was shocked to find out that it had no roof !"

"Thank god for smart phones I was getting tired or reading the back of shampoo bottles while in the bathroom"

"Sometimes i think my life sucks. Then i look at the lives of others. Then it hits me. My life does suck!!"

"How does Trent Reznor's mom hang up his Christmas stocking? With a Nine Inch Nail."