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Joke of the Day

"Getting a red heart instead of a yellow star makes me feel like things are moving a little too fast between us."

"Me: Put on your seatbelt. 13: Do I have to? Me: not if you want your face shattering the windshield 13: cool Me: PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT!"

"You know instead of saying half a dozen you could just say 6, right?"

"Did you hear about the guy who bought a ring for his under age fiance? Apparently he went to Jared's."

"I accidentally mixed up my dads sleeping pills with my Viagra... he says its harder getting to sleep now."

"Seaside Treats by Rhoda Donkey"

"Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging.... ...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state."

"Why didn't Johnny Depp get an Oscar nod for Black Mass? The nominee pool was Whitey-nough already"

"Taco Bell wouldn't be so popular if indoor plumbing didn't exist"

"Whats the question to the answer ""it's a cockrobin"" What's that up my ass Batman?"