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Joke of the Day

"Me: Put on your seatbelt. 13: Do I have to? Me: not if you want your face shattering the windshield 13: cool Me: PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT!"

"What are your best/favorite anti-jokes?"

"What do you call a midget psychiatrist on the run from the law? A small medium at large."

"A thief broke into my house last night. He was searching for money, ...so I woke up and started searching with him."

"I run down a hospital corridor, clutching the mustard dispenser I liberated from the cafeteria. Earlier I had a plan. Now I have mustard."

"Your mom is like a pile of bricks. Constantly getting laid by Mexicans."

"[funeral] ME: I never know what to say at these things. WIDOW: sorry for your loss. ME: it's ok, I'm sure I'll think of something."

"Why should everyone go to the dentist at least once every ten years? Because of tooth decade!"

"What's a confederates favourite school festival? the Sumner fete."

"Do you know what makes darks better than whites? Not dropping all your fucking socks"