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Joke of the Day

"Alabama has changed its drinking age to 28 Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seat belt."

"[1st day at Subway] Boss: u said u'd done this before Me: [painting myself in marinara sauce] I'm really more of an abstract sandwich artist"

"When my mom told me to stop acting like a flamingo I had to put my foot down."

"Did you hear about the priest that had a Nicotine patch on his dick? (NSFW) He's cut back to two butts a week"

"Have you been on /r/bigdickproblems ? Of course you haven't."

"[NSFW] I have a real passion for bat guano... You could say I'm bat shit crazy"

"Cheap prostitutes are like coffee If you put your dick in them it's gonna burn"

"I just joined Twitter; it's really easy to follow people. Too bad it cuts into my exercise."

"Call me a little softy... But I'd rather you call me a man with a small penis and a flagging erection."