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Joke of the Day

"I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery hashtag nofilter"

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"Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work? A Remote control"
"There are two types of people in this world... Those that can recognise when data is missing..."
"2 sheep are standing on a hill One turns to the other and says ""Baaa!"". The other sheep says ""I was just going to say that""."
"I wonder if flies ever think, ""I bet I could get this guy to slap himself in the face."" Because they'd be right."
"Lost in a corn maze? Light it on fire. Turn it into a popcorn maze. Eat your way out."
"When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice."
"What do you call a monkey with a white bandanna tied to his tail? A surrender monkey"
"Two women in a shared cell were in the prison for 15yrs. When they were freed... ...they spent another 2hrs talking outside."
"I finally told my girlfriend about my sexy pirate fetish... She said she would get on board"