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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you mix Lassie and a canteloupe? Melon-Collie."

"What did one ball say to the other? ""This guy in the middle is a dick"""

"I love how people act like they don't want to be followed in the street yet they keep looking back at you to see if you're still there."

"Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub? So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet."

"What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay? You get a Christian Bale"

"So a guy sexually lays on top n' stuff on many rolling pins and does a good job. He's on a roll!"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Delaware? Don't worry, he eventually woke up."

"What did the buffalo say to his son who's leaving for college? Bison."

"Only 50 more days til we find out who's our next President! Last time I was nauseous 50 days straight, at least I got a baby out of it!"

"""How much for this toaster?"" ""An arm & a leg."" ""How about a leg & 2 fingers?"" ""A leg & 3 fingers."" ""Deal!"" - Cannibal Pawn Stars"